you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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