I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
