We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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