You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
