he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
