You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
