their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
