You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
