I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
