nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My balls are so social today.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
