My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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