That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
