Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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