can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
