This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize