So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize