When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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