i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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