I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think people are normalizing furries
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
