She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
