remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
