hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
