You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
