then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize