It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
3 2 1 whiskey
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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