dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
