I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
