It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
