Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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