a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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