the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
