The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
