I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I need to align my fucking chakras
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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