drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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