Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
