I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
