She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
