Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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