i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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