Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
