she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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