I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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