I love black thongs
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
