Buhtt sex?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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