Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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