hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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