so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
