you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think your dad took our porno
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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