Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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