Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
