apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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