he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
