im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
