Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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