ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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