Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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