Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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