Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
