I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
