She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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