Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
