so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
