What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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