dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
